Came back to the city from Poughkeepsie today. Was up that way for John and Noreen's wedding yesterday. Interesting trip. I'm very happy and hopeful for the new hapy couple, but the trip did a lot to reinforce my own disinclination towards the institution of mairrage.
The ceremony was Roman Catholic (I think). I'm no expert on anything religion outside of books, but I was surprised to find that my dislike of organized religion has done nothing but grow in my time away from it. There were more than a few parts where a response was expected from the audience?/gathered/congregation?. Besides not knowing the proper response, I also just didn't feel right responding to something I didn't associate with. When it comes down to it, the hapy pair seemed to like the ceremony, and that is really what matters.
The reception was at a nice country club up there. Our table the infamous "table 8" - were, of course, the troublemakers. We started by ordering two bottles of wine to the table and when the waiter (ROBERT!) said he wasn't allowed to do that, we tipped him $20 and got our wine. Before the night was over, Robert(!) had made at least $150 an refused to leave our table to serve other people. Good times.
There was an interesting moment right around the first full-on dance (not just the bride/groom/family dance) when I found myself in a very odd dichotomy. To my back was the dancefloor with all my friends having a kickin' good time, but I was staring out the window at an Appalachian ridgeline that covered three-quarters of the horizon. Somewhere deep inside I wanted to be up on that mountain.
I've never had that particular split in my psyche physicalized before. I both wanted to be at the party, social, indulging in the human dynamic, and at the same time I wanted to be apart, alone, on my own sufficing of and for myself. I'm still unsettled by it.
I know it sounds all waxing poetic, but that was how I felt, and I still do not have a lot of answers to these apparent irreconcilable needs. I mean, money notwithstaning, I could eventually just have two residences and split my time, and I imagine that is what I will land on, but that doesn't really reconcile anything, just compromises both visions of my future.
On a seperate note(or tangentially related). My birthday is coming up, and I actually remembered this year. I'm thinking Saturday will be some sort of event. Preferably not the classic bar-party that has been the norm for brthdays for some time. But I am still planning all that.
Cheers!
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