I should really be asleep right now and hopefully will be headed that direction right after this post. I'm all jittery with nervous energy. The actual incorporation happened last week, and tomorrow is my first day in the new office. I'm officially a business owner, which is really kind of awesome and cool and all. Also, terrifying.
For a while there I couldn't figure out why this venture, as opposed to the dozens of other career risks I've taken in the past 5 years, was causing me such anxiety. Why should this business be any different than the hosting company I ran for a year, or the tech department I just finished establishing at my last job? Why is this one giving you the fear, Sam?
Oh right, this isn't a job, it's my life. This is finally it. The culmination of all the experience and thought that I've poured into this since I left theatre way back when. This is the company that I've been dying to build forever, and I'm finally doing it. Wow. This isn't a finite job, or a side project or hobby. If this goes as planned it will be my occupation for life and my legacy that I leave behind me when I'm gone. How good can we make it?
In the coming days I will undoubtedly write much more about CNDP. I'll tell you all what it is, and what we do, and the theory and thought process behind it all. For now, I just wanted to take a moment to reflect on all this, and let my friends and family know that everything is pretty amazing in my world right now, but if I seem on edge, or nervous, or distracted, it's because I've got a lot of stress and pressure in my life right now. Good things and great opportunities, but the buck stops here, for all intents and purposes.
Wish me luck!